|
 |
|
|
|
|
Ship Shape
by Cooper Lewis
June 14, 2005
About a year ago, when I first entered the Harry Potter-web scheme, one word kept puzzling me greatly. I came across it again and again, and I couldn’t bring myself to ask what it meant. So naturally, I watched a chat room diligently until some bolder (or more naïve) soul asked it for me: What exactly is a ‘shipper’?
For those of you who don’t know, ‘shipping’ has transformed from what FedEx does to supporting a relationship between two fictional characters in a movie, a work of literature, etc., etc. Obviously, since Harry Potter is so well-known and has inklings of teenage romanticism, the shippers have invaded the Potternet in full force.
[Shipping should not be confused with slashing, which is rather disgusting and involves ‘non-traditional’ relationships: homosexual (Ron/Harry—note the slash), pedophiliac (Snape/Harry - ?), and triad (Ron/Harry/Hermione). How these people honestly believe that sexual immorality or at least frivolity would spring up suddenly midway through a largely children’s series is astounding.]
I’ll admit, when I first discovered the wild world of shipping, I was immediately skeptical. First of all, this hardly qualifies as theorizing. Far from using facts, ‘shippers’ madly examine the entire series under a microscope, searching for largely abstract passages to shove in the faces of opposing shippers, screaming in frantic support of the ship-in-question.
Also, the whole idea of ‘supporting’ a relationship in Harry Potter seems very pointless to me, as what the shippers think have no actual effect on anything whatsoever. To me, it is rather like ‘supporting’ what next Christmas’s weather will be like.
And shippers are among the most violent internet-dwelling creatures you will ever meet in your virtual neighborhood. Lacking any sound support from any of the literature, the shippers often result to vicious verbal attacks on rival ships. For example, supporters of Harry/Ginny often viciously berate Hermione for her part in the Harry/Hermione ships. The funny thing is, none of this is real! I mean, really, it’s not real, as in the series is fictional, but doubly, it’s not real, because the characters are contained in the series and wouldn’t understand why Harry/Hermione shippers are viciously attacking Ron.
I’ve heard these comments from Shippers (all chat room names have been changed to prevent rival shippers from committing violent crimes against their families):
hermyNharry4life: aaaaarrrgggh! ron is ssssoooo trashy and honestly, hermione can do ssssooo much better than him
dracolovesmione: it’s the perfect plot twist! No one expects draco and hermione together, and they can really bring slytherin and Gryffindor together
Honestly, this talk deserves its own haven for odd discussion. But, I fear that we shall have to live with fanatic shippers just as we have to live with fanatic Star Wars fans or fanatic Day-After-Christmas-Day-Shoppers. At any rate, the Shippers can even spiral further down the crazy path before becoming slashers and propose gems of brilliance like:
(Again, names were changed)
Iamincrediblystupid24: fleur and draco! She’s a bad girl, like the veela!
Icantbelieveiknowhow2type: lily and snape…its so obvious
To quote James Lipton—delightful. I had hoped that upon Book 7’s release, the Shippers will go away, knowing that their Ships have either floated or sunk. Surely, after the series has resolved itself, the Shippers will leave?
Think again. While I was surfing the net for information about the hit musical Les Misérables, which is based on a brilliant novel by Victor Hugo, I stumbled across Shippers in a place I never expected. [Les Misérables tells, among other things, about the unrequited love Eponine has for Marius, who marries Cosette.] The Shippers of Eponine/Marius were viciously attacking Cosette, a perfectly sinless character on the grounds that she was shallow. Even after the ink has dried on the last page of a novel for hundreds of years, the Shippers remain poised to attack rival Ships.
Yet there is still hope, my friends. Perhaps you are a Shipper reading this column right now. I assure you that theorizing based on fact and reasoning is a lot more rewarding than mere Shipping.
They will be angry; they will attack me. But know that if the Shippers get the best of me, I leave my column in the hands of Democratic National Chairman Howard Dean, who (if you didn’t know) is even harsher with Shippers than he is with Republicans.
Back to The Sugar Quill | Feedback
|
|
|
|
| |
 |
|
